Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
