if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
