I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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