My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
