I'm so fucking centered right now
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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