I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize