I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
