Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
