she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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