Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
