tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
