Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
