This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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