I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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