God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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