I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
