dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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