Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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