You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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