I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize