they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
