I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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