I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He kissed a someone with a penis
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
