I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
