it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
