You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's never too late to be topless.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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