you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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