I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
