Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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