I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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