I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Barsexuality is the new black.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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