ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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