I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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