I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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