flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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