there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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