sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize