I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize