I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
