If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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