there's paper in my vomit.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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