Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize