The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize