need another drink. this is the easiest way
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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