Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
