He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
