I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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