my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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