i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
