I cockslap morals
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
