Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
