It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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