please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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