So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
