They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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