Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
