The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
