the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
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If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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