it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
