i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize