Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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