I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
