we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I need water and some morals
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
