Pappa wants mamma naked
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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